There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
