When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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