I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
