ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize