dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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