when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
