Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
