Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
