I only kidnapped one of them. chill
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
