clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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