i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize
