I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
