I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
