dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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