i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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