this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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