OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
