Dual....:-)
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
