we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
