the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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