Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
