I think I won the penis lottery.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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