he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Randomize
