I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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