Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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