Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
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