none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
