am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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