I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
wow bdsm is so cute
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
