In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
it wasn't lemon gatorade
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
