Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
