my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
