Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
