Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
