so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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