I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
