i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
