moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
