Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
high people should be assigned attendants
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
