Screwed.edu
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
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