I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
