im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize
