I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
