Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
She's the barista slut.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
