super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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