don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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