3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
