imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize