chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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