Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
