we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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